Oh, To Be In England

Two months of studying for the Indian post-grad medical entrance exam makes you feel like you've aged a few decades. Mercifully, a little holiday in the UK seems to have done me some good (though the hair loss seems to be permanent).

I realised that cows have a very good life in the UK. They're fat, well fed, lazy, have amazing weather and do nothing all day but eat. They even have actual bridges across the highway that were built especially for them to cross (If I was any good at blogging I would probably insert a "Why did the cow cross the road?" joke here, but I dont know any). Cows in India are much like the house surgeons - emaciated and overworked. But then I suppose English cows do tend to get eaten a lot, so I'd still say that's India - 1, England - 0.

Another thing weird about the UK is the birds. Apparently, people arent just nice to each other, they're nice to wildlife as well. This has led birds to view the human species as walking food-dispensers, and nothing more. Now they act almost as if we're in a real-life Rise of the Planet of the Birds. They all ganged up on us when we went to the Lake District, thinking we had food for them. Like we were going to spend a whole one pound on bird food! I just wish I had some chicken nuggets to chew on though. Just to show them who's still at the top of the food chain.

But besides the birds and animals, a certain group of people enjoy a particularly privileged life in Britain - cyclists. Now I'm no stranger to cycling. Every working day of my third and fourth years at Chengalpet Medical College I huffed and puffed and rode my 10-year old bike through 40 degree temperatures, through the great Cyclone Nilam of 2012, through flat tyres and malfunctioning brakes, through roads that cavemen could build better, through buses and bikes, through autos and cars - all to have it stolen while I was terrorizing children during my Paediatrics internship. 

But in the UK, cyclists are treated like kings. You don't get honked off the road like you would in India; no, in the UK you quite literally race the guy who had the gall to try and overtake you. No more "I'll just go off the road for a bit so you can pass me". Here you use an entire lane and ride your bicycle bang in the middle of it. I once saw a cyclist single-handedly create a mini-traffic jam just by cycling down a one-lane bridge. And by cycling, I dont mean actually pedalling. No, she was just letting the wind and gravity do the work, blissfully unaware of the 10-car pile-up behind her. Try doing this in India and not only would the deafening noise of car horns quickly make you aware of your situation, but those same cars would probably run you over, just for good measure.

Now I'm back in India, though, and was welcomed back to class with an extremely fascinating 10-hour lecture on biochemistry. More hair loss to come, I suspect.