Saturday, March 23, 2013

How to keep a diary

I now understand that the only reason people keep diaries is because they're all raging narcissists. I had just joined medical college when I decided that I want to keep a diary (which in itself further proves my Narcissistic Theory of Diary Keeping), because of course my life would be so amazing that future generations would want to know every tiny detail.

It took me about two minutes to decide that I was much too lazy busy to actually write anything down. This is the 21st century after all. Why write when you can type? Those future generations are going to thank me for not wasting paper.

My first realisation was that I had no idea how to talk to a Word document. I couldn't bring myself to type "Dear Diary...", so I decided to do a cold open, with just "I am going to write here everyday". I followed this up by typing out what I had for breakfast and what I watched on TV after that.

I was very regular with writing when I first started. Then after a few weeks I realised that my life was so mind numbingly boring that even I didn't want to read about it. This led to a steadily decreasing number of entries, and I made a grand total of ONE entry for the entire year of 2012. And it was still about what I had for breakfast and what I watched on TV.

At some point I seem to have decided that I was much too awesome to be keeping a private diary that no one could read, which is why I started this blog. The plan seems to have backfired though, because Google has a page-view counter, and the only time that number increases is when I refresh the page.

So anyway, I think it's time to get to the point. Dear future generations, today I had a bread and butter sandwich for breakfast and watched White Collar on TV.

You're welcome.

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha. Ayo.

    I had cereal with almonds and flaxseed.

    :P

    Aunt M.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have no idea what flaxseed is. I just know that it's ready in 5 minutes when you plant a crop on Castleville!

    ReplyDelete